You're a Hypochrondriac.

Actually, you only get it if you're a hypochondriac; a worrier; a pessimist and a person who hasn't had health insurance for a bit. {colon capital letter 'd'}

I think the health insurance program gives a person a sense of comfort. With insurance if you feel as though you have a bug you can just go to your doctor and they can pretend to run tests and give you some antibiotics and bim! bam! boom! Don'cha feel so much better?

However, for such a short period withour insurance it creates these pangs of paranoia.

<Go with me on this train of thought>
Shortness of breathe? Did I get that on the job? Is it all this dust I'm inhaling? I know I should've never started smoking - but I don't have any other stress relievers! - Is it "PNEUMOTHORAX, a condition in which air gets between the lungs and the chest wall, or a PULMONARY EMBOLISM, in which a blood clot may have moved from a leg to the lungs, or ATELECTASIS, a collapsed lung." {Taken from familydoctor.org} IT COULD BE ANYTHING AND I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO FIX IT.
<OK, thanks for following>

Now that I have insurance I *want* to go for everything but I am TERRIFIED of what it could be. This is where being a pessimist gets a hold of me. Not only is it a shortness of breathe but it's what happens to me if I can't get better? What happens to my bills and then my child and then my life?

I can't imagine it being different for other people. Having no insurance breeds fear. It's hard to gain confidence when you're own health is not in your hands. The posistion leaves you powerless. Sure you can try to heal yourself and 'wait-it-out' and pray that you are healed. However, certainty is not given.

I believe that when you let it rule you; you let it it.
If you let fear rule your life; you let fear in. You are no longer in control.

Likewise:

If you let hate rule your life; You let hate in.
If you let jealousy rule your life; you let jealousy in.
Does it make sense?

Lemme further explain:
You need to own your hate; so it cannot own you.
You need to own your jealous; so it cannot own you.

Life seems to be a mental game. Life also seems to be about responsibility.
Ha. I'm not sure. I'm a hypochondriac pessimist and I have numb hands.